Assume the Best

Why is it that we want to believe the worst about other people?

It seems like humans have a tendency to attribute bad motives to the things people do and to believe the negative things we hear about people.

I think one reason is why we do this is because it is an easy way to feel better about ourselves.  

All of us have our own issues that we struggle with, those things that we would like to change about ourselves. When we hear about a person making a positive change or impact we become envious of their success. Rather than celebrating their success, we look for ways to tear them down (even if we would never verbally say anything).

This means when we hear something negative about someone else we secretly feel better about our situation, because we tell ourselves that they are not as good as they seem. 

Believing the worst about people helps us feel superior to them.

This is a terrible thing to do.

One reason it is terrible is because life is not a competition. Someone else’s success doesn’t diminish who I am one bit. We should be able to rejoice with those who achieve success and experience good things in life. 

The opposite is also true, someone else’s struggle doesn’t make us any better of a person. We should be able to empathize with people who are struggling because we have our own set of struggles.

Matthew 7:12 (NIV)

So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets.

Another great reason why we should assume the best about other people is because that is how we would like to be treated. When we stumble and fall we don’t want people thinking the worst about us. Rather, we want people to be sympathetic to our situation.

Remember, our failures aren’t always the result of sin on our part. 

Sometimes our failure is due to life circumstances. We fail to keep a promise because we had some sort of an emergency that prevented us for doing what we said we would do. 

There are other times when we are in the midst of making progress in overcoming some bad habit, and we have a moment of weakness and slip into our old behavior. Focusing on the failure overlooks the progress we have made.

There is one more reason why we should be generous and assume the best about other people: people are mean.

It could be that what we hear about another person isn’t even true, that it was made up be someone to discredit our friend.  If we cannot verify whether or not the story is true, we should trust our friend’s character.

Divisions happen in families, teams, organizations, and churches because people tend to believe the negative about each other. As followers of Jesus we should break that tendency and assume the best about one another. 

All of us are in the process of becoming better people and what we need is encouragement, rather than condemnation, along the way.