I began Paul’s Ponderings in 2004.
Twenty years ago, I was an unmarried youth pastor who read a wide variety of books. I used this blog as a way to process what I was reading. The format of many of those early posts was a quote from a book, followed by the thoughts it stirred in my mind (hence the name Ponderings), with an attempt to tie it all to a Bible passage.
During those first few years, I posted almost every day. However, I never followed a strict schedule—I wrote whenever my mind was crowded with thoughts that needed to come out. I wasn’t as successful with my blogging as I wanted to be, mainly because I neglected to proofread and edit my posts. They were strictly stream-of-consciousness. While I never amassed a huge audience, the blog did serve the purpose of emptying the rambling thoughts that often occupied my mind.
Over the past fourteen years, my life has shifted quite a bit. I went from being single to being married with children. I went from serving independent Restoration Movement Churches to being an ordained pastor (along with my wife) in the Free Methodist Church—a denomination I hadn’t even heard of twenty years ago. Needless to say, my free time isn’t what it used to be.
Another major change during this time, which I’m sure many of us have experienced, is the rise of smartphones and social media. At first, it didn’t seem like a big deal, and I didn’t notice how my free time had shifted from reading books to scrolling through social media and listening to podcasts.
Then COVID hit, and what started as a little time on my phone turned into an addiction. I didn’t realize it at first, but this summer I was confronted with the reality of how big the problem had become. I don’t recall the specific details, but I do remember picking up my phone and opening X (formerly Twitter) with this thought running through my mind: “I don’t know what to think about.” My thoughts were no longer my own—they were being directed by whatever I found on my phone.
That realization took me back to why I started Paul’s Ponderings in the first place: to have a space to share my own thoughts. But now, those thoughts were coming from the small device in my hand. I had a problem.
As I seek to break free from my phone and social media, I’ve decided that a good discipline to cultivate is the habit of reading and writing again. That led me back here, to my long-neglected blog. I realize that, in recent years, “being a blogger” was more a part of my fantasy self than my reality. You can look through the archives and see my failed attempts to revive Paul’s Ponderings. Now, I want to give it another try. Whether or not I gain readers isn’t the point—the point is to have the motivation to read, think, and share my thoughts.
My plan is to return to my old format: starting with a quote from something I’m reading, jotting down my rambling thoughts, and making some attempt to tie it all back to the Bible. I hope you’ll join me on this journey, but if not, that’s okay—especially if you promise to check in every once in a while.
