Shattered Dreams: When Life Doesn’t Turn Out As Planned

Part 3 of 4 in the "Shattered Dreams" Series

“When we want to be something other than the thing God wants us to be, we must be wanting what, in fact, will not make us happy.”
— C. S. Lewis, The Problem of Pain

Rarely does life unfold according to our plans. More often, it pushes us into unexpected places—places we never intended to go and can’t escape. The dreams we once held slip away as we grapple with the reality before us.

Joseph, a man familiar with shattered dreams, comes to mind. While we often think of Joseph from the Old Testament—sold into slavery, falsely accused, and imprisoned—I want to shift our focus to another Joseph: the husband of Mary and earthly father of Jesus. Though often overshadowed by other figures in the Christmas story, Joseph’s journey reveals the pain of broken dreams and the beauty of God’s greater purpose.

In Matthew 1:19, we read:

“Because Joseph her husband was a righteous man and did not want to expose her to public disgrace, he had in mind to divorce her quietly” (NIV).

This brief description—“a righteous man”—tells us much about Joseph. To us, righteousness might mean morality or religiosity, a good person striving to live out their faith. But for a Jew of Joseph’s time, it meant something deeper: a love for the Torah, God’s Law. Joseph wasn’t a Pharisee or a scholar; he was an ordinary, hardworking man raised to honor and study the Law. His righteousness positioned him for respect in his community, perhaps even a future as an elder—a common dream for men in his culture.

But then came the shattering moment: his young fiancée, Mary, revealed she was pregnant. Joseph knew the child wasn’t his, and her claim of a divine conception likely sounded unbelievable. In his mind, there was only one conclusion—unfaithfulness. According to the Torah he loved, unfaithfulness warranted death by stoning. As a righteous man, Joseph could have demanded justice. Yet he didn’t.

The NIV translation suggests it was because of his righteousness that Joseph sought to divorce Mary quietly, sparing her public disgrace. But I propose a different reading: although he was righteous, he chose mercy. His devotion to the Law pulled him toward justice, but a greater force—love—held him back. Joseph loved Mary. Despite believing she had betrayed him, he couldn’t bear to see her suffer.

We know little about their relationship. Jewish betrothal was far more binding than a modern engagement, but how well they knew each other remains unclear. What’s certain is that Joseph had chosen to love Mary. As he prepared a home for them, he dreamed of their life together—the family they’d build, the future they’d share. Now, those dreams lay in ruins.

Quietly divorcing Mary would have preserved her life and allowed Joseph to salvage his reputation as a righteous man. Marrying her, however, would destroy it. In a small town like Nazareth, word of her pregnancy would spread. People would assume Joseph condoned her “sin” or was complicit in it. His business, his standing, his dream of being a respected Torah-lover—all would crumble.

Then God intervened. An angel appeared to Joseph, confirming Mary’s story and urging him to take her as his wife. This divine call demanded the very choice that would obliterate Joseph’s dreams. Why didn’t God send the angel sooner—perhaps the same night Gabriel visited Mary? Perhaps God wanted Joseph to wrestle with the cost. To marry Mary meant sacrificing his reputation, his livelihood, and his place in the community. It was a decision that required him to choose between his dreams and God’s will.

God’s dream for Joseph wasn’t a life of outward righteousness or communal respect. It was far greater: to raise and teach the Messiah. Joseph became Jesus’ primary example of love and integrity. Imagine the whispers he endured—about Mary’s supposed adultery, about Jesus not being his son. Imagine the struggle to find work as a “disgraced” man. Yet through it all, Joseph modeled love and obedience, even when it cost him everything. Jesus grew up watching this, learning from a father who chose God’s way over his own.

Joseph’s dreams shattered when Mary announced her pregnancy. Accepting God’s plan didn’t make his life easier—it brought hardship and scorn—but it made it better. Joseph traded a dream of reputation for an influence he couldn’t fully grasp in his lifetime. His impact on Jesus, and thus the world, echoes into eternity, though he likely never saw its fullness this side of heaven.

Our dreams, even the noble ones, can blind us to God’s purpose. When we cling to them, we miss the life we were created for. Like Joseph, we must let our dreams shatter to embrace God’s greater vision. Only then do we discover true fulfillment—not fully in this life, but certainly when King Jesus returns and makes everything right.

Stay tuned for Part 4 in the "Shattered Dreams" series as we continue exploring how God’s plan transforms our understanding of life and fulfillment.

Shattered Dreams: An Unexpected Blessing

 

Part 1 of 4 in the "Shattered Dreams" Series

We’ve all heard it before: we matter to God. And part of us wants to believe it. But life has a way of wearing down our confidence in that truth. If God really cares about us, then why didn’t He ___________? Fill in the blank: Heal your loved one. Save your marriage. Open doors that remained shut. Make life easier.

Either (a) we’re blowing it, or (b) God is holding out on us. Or some combination of both, which is where most people land.
— John Eldredge, Waking the Dead: The Glory of a Heart Fully Alive

Take a moment to reflect on the dreams you once had for your life. What did you envision for your family, career, friendships, home, and future? If we’re honest, most of us are not living the life we imagined.

On one hand, that’s not entirely a bad thing. Many of our youthful dreams were built on unrealistic expectations. Achieving them might have led to an outcome far different from what we expected—perhaps even worse. Think of the lives of celebrities who have everything we think would bring happiness, yet struggle with addiction, depression, and broken relationships. Or consider if you had married your first crush—would it have truly been a fairy tale?

We recognize that not all unfulfilled dreams are tragic. Yet, there are dreams we believe are essential to our happiness. The single person might believe that marriage is the key to joy, while a married person may long for the freedom of singleness. We might think a specific job, possession, or achievement will finally make us content. And when those things do not happen—or are taken away—we feel crushed. We cry out, “God, don’t You care about my happiness? I thought You loved me!” And often, we are met with silence. We pray, plead, and wait, but God seems unresponsive.

But does silence mean God doesn’t care? Scripture tells us otherwise. Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you (1 Peter 5:7, NLT). This leaves us with a dilemma: either the Bible is untrue, or God has a different plan for our lives than we expected.

I am convinced that God’s plan is far greater than our own. The challenge is that His definition of a “wonderful life” often looks nothing like ours. We dream of being served, but God calls us to serve. We dream of financial abundance, but God calls us to generosity. We dream of recognition, but God calls us to humility and quiet faithfulness. To lead us into His better plan, God often allows our dreams to break.

Why? Because as long as we cling to our own visions of happiness, we prioritize achieving them over pursuing holiness. That is the fundamental difference between our dreams and God’s: we long for comfort, but He desires our transformation. We seek happiness, but He seeks our holiness.

What Is Holiness?

Holiness is a word we use in church, but rarely in everyday conversation. I like to define it simply as being separated from the ordinary. Through salvation, God sets us apart from the world because His people are to represent Him in everything we do. Holiness is both the position we have in God’s Kingdom and the calling He has placed on our lives.

Because of this call to holiness, shattered dreams are not the end of life—they are the beginning of something better. They force us to shift our focus from temporary fulfillment to the eternal purpose found in the Kingdom. When our dreams crumble, we are invited into a deeper trust—a faith that rests not on our circumstances but on God Himself.

So, what if our broken dreams are actually God’s mercy? What if, in allowing them to fall apart, He is leading us to something infinitely better? The question is not whether God cares—it’s whether we are willing to trust that His dreams for us are better than our own.

---

Stay tuned for Part 2 in the "Shattered Dreams" series as we continue exploring how God’s plan transforms our understanding of life and fulfillment.

Growing is Tough

I don’t know about you, but I wish spiritual growth was so difficult. Why can’t it be as easy as gaining weight? 

Gaining weight is a breeze—most of the time, it’s even enjoyable. If I wanted to pack on a few pounds, I’d just indulge in my fast food favorites: burgers and fries. Trust me, I could happily live on that stuff and watch the scale climb in no time.

But spiritual growth—the kind that deepens our faith, that’s a different story. It’s not as simple as piling on more doctrine or soaking up Bible teaching. I know, it almost sounds heretical to say it, but hear me out: knowledge alone doesn’t make us grow. 

Don’t get me wrong—knowledge matters. It’s the foundation we build on. But real growth happens when we take that foundation and live it out. It’s the application that transforms us.

James, Jesus’ half-brother, put it this way:  

“Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing.” (James 1:2-4, NLT) 

James teaches us that growth isn’t a classroom exercise—it’s forged in the messiness of life. It’s where theory collides with reality, where the rubber meets the road. According to him, the greatest growth potential lies in trials, temptations, and even tragedies. When life falls apart—when dreams shatter and the future looks bleak—how we respond shapes who we become. Choosing to trust God’s promises, even when they feel distant or unreal, sets us on the path to spiritual maturity.

So what does this mean for us today? It means we should stop chasing the illusion of a perfectly safe, secure life—it doesn’t exist. Instead, we should step boldly into the brokenness of the world. If we’re serious about growing, another Bible study or devotional book isn’t the answer. What is needed is living out what God has  revealed to us, no matter the cost or consequences.

Joy in the midst of trouble doesn’t mean we enjoy the pain. It means we recognize that pushing through it molds us into people who demonstrate the character of Jesus a little bit better. We grow stronger, become more mature, and even move closer to God as we respond by faith the trials of life. This is what brings us joy.

Growing is tough. Change is tough. It won’t happen by passively reading a blog post (sorry!) or sitting through another Sunday sermon. Spiritual formation into the image of Jesus demands hard choices, gritty endurance, and weathering life’s storms. Sure, cracking open a book is easier, but the rewards of standing firm through dark times—with faith intact—are infinitely greater.

Cling to Hope

1 Peter 1:6-9 (CSB)

You rejoice in this, even though now for a short time, if necessary, you suffer grief in various trials so that the proven character of your faith — more valuable than gold which, though perishable, is refined by fire — may result in praise, glory, and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ. Though you have not seen him, you love him; though not seeing him now, you believe in him, and you rejoice with inexpressible and glorious joy, because you are receiving the goal of your faith, the salvation of your souls.

The Apostle Peter wrote the book we know as 1 Peter to encourage and strengthen the persecuted Christians who were dispersed throughout various provinces in the Roman Empire. In this passage, 1 Peter 1:6-9, Peter taught about the importance of enduring trials in order to strengthen our faith and receive the ultimate reward of salvation.

Peter began by acknowledging that the trials we face in life can be difficult and painful, which often causes us to feel grief and sorrow. However, in spite of these trials it is important for us to rejoice because we know God will not waste our pain. Instead, God will use them for our benefit and growth. Through our trials, Peter wrote, our faith is tested and refined, just like gold is refined by fire. This refining process strengthens our character and prepares us for life in the Kingdom.

It's important to note that Peter didn’t say that suffering is optional for Christians. In fact, he wrote that trials are "necessary" for our growth and development. This is difficult to hear, especially when we're in the midst of a particularly when we are growing though a trial. However, it's crucial to remember that God is able to use all our experiences, good and bad, to form us in the image of Jesus.

Peter goes on to say that faith refined by the fire of trials and hardships is more valuable than gold. While gold is precious and desired for many purpose, including jewelry and money, it is still perishable and can be destroyed. Our faith, on the other hand, is eternal and cannot be taken away from us. It is through our faith that we receive salvation. This salvation, and eternal relationship with God, is the most important goal of our lives.

It is interesting that Peter acknowledged the reality that we have not physically seen Jesus, but that reality hasn’t stopped us from trusting and loving him. Our faith is not based on our physical interaction with Jesus, but on the truth taught to us, the example of other Christians, and the difference following Jesus made in our lives. This faith brings us both joy and hope, even in the midst of our trials.

It's important to note that Peter doesn’t say that we should be happy about our trials themselves. Instead, he encouraged us to find joy God’s love as He uses our trials to refine our faith and form us in the image of Jesus. This joy is not a surface-level happiness that comes and goes with our circumstances, rather it is a deep and abiding sense of peace that comes from knowing that we are loved and cared for by our Heavenly Father.

1 Peter 1:6-9 teaches us that our trials serve a greater purpose in our lives. They are not meaningless or purposeless, but are opportunities for us to grow and develop as Christians. As we endure  the trials of life with faith and perseverance, we can trust that God is using them to refine our character and to strengthen our hope. We should rejoice, even in the midst of our suffering, knowing that God is with us and working all things together for our good.