Let’s Talk About Sex

 

Many years ago I listened to a class taught by Mark Moore. During the final class session he gave the students some things to think about and one of the things he said was this: "Sex is sacred, but not essential, and our lives say the opposite.”

In our discussions about the role sex should play in our lives, I think this short quote provides us with three crucial insights that should guide our thinking.

The first insight is: “Sex is sacred…” 

Sex is to have a place of honor in our lives. The author of Hebrews wrote; “Marriage is to be honored by all and the marriage bed kept undefiled, because God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterers.” (Hebrews 13:4; CSB). 

God designed sex to bring a man and a woman into an intimate relationship that cannot be expressed in any other way. It is not dirty or shameful nor is it common and ordinary. Sexual intimacy has a very special place in binding a husband and wife together. 

When we are unwilling to hold sex as something that is sacred then it loses its significance. It becomes a “fun” activity for consenting adults to participate in, but its ultimate purpose of God’s gift to married couples is diminished. As followers of Jesus we are to be good stewards of all of God’s gifts, and that means we must hold sex as sacred and leave it within the bounds of marriage where it belongs.

This includes the way we talk about sex. C. S. Lewis wrote; 

“The reason why I must is that you and I…have been fed all day long on solid lies about sex. We have been told, till one is sick of hearing it, that sexual desire is in the same state as any of our other natural desires and that if only we abandon the silly old Victorian idea of hushing it up, everything in the garden will be lovely. It is not true. The moment you look at the facts, and away from the propaganda, you see that it is not” (Mere Christianity; pg. 91-92)

Too often, the way we have talked about sex, both in the world and in the church, has led us to make sex common, and thus not sacred. I am not advocating ignoring sex, because, like every other area of our lives, we need discipleship and healing when it comes to sex. Rather I am advocating, that in order to hold sex in high regard it cannot be the foundation of our stories, jokes, and our lives.

That brings us to the second part: “but not essential…” 

Here comes a shocking statement: Sex is not necessary for a good life! 

This truth is contrary to what we have been taught and to what we believe. Sex is not essential to our happiness! You can have a joyful life, a fulfilled life, and still be a virgin. Jesus was at least 33 years old when He was crucified and He never had sex. 

For Jesus to command you to keep sex within the bounds of marriage means that He is not asking you to do anything that He has not already done. The Apostle Paul in 1 Corinthians 7:1 writes; Now in response to the matters you wrote about: “It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman.” (CSB). Sexual intimacy is not essential part of our discipleship or the calling that God has placed on our lives.

There is no sexual act that will give us the type of life that we long to have. The abundant life that Jesus gives is not found in a life of sexual freedom, but living a life that seeks to love God and love people. The truly fulfilled life is a life that has enjoyed all the good gifts of life: time spent with friends, the love of a family, the knowledge of a job well done, and enjoying the great outdoors. Sex is not required for living a good and fulfilling life.

The final part: “and our lives say the opposite.” 

I don’t need to remind us how sex has gone wrong in the world. That reality is seen all around us, and we are faced with it each and everyday. It should be no surprise that we find the world living contrary to God’s standard when it comes to sex. 

The way of the world has always been to twist God’s good gifts in order to lead people away from God. When Mark Moore says “our lives,” he is not making a judgment on people already living apart from God’s will. Rather, he is pointing out how Christians are not any different than the world when it comes to sex. 

The reality is sexual purity isn't very fashionable idea. I am continually amazed by the number of Christian people I know who are living with someone or are comfortable with talking about their  sexual encounters. 

When it comes to sex, Christians have been discipled by the world and not by the Bible.

The movies and television shows many Christians watch carry a message that is different to God's will about sex, and we don't give these messages a second thought. Keeping sex as sacred is more than just keeping sex between married people, it is about honoring the place sex is to have in our lives. Sex will not remain sacred when it becomes a common element in our entertainment.

The apostle Paul wrote: 

But sexual immorality and any impurity or greed should not even be heard of among you, as is proper for saints. Obscene and foolish talking or crude joking are not suitable, but rather giving thanks. (Ephesians 5:3-4; CSB). 

Whether or not we hold sex to be sacred is not only seen in our actions, but also in our speech. Too often we are trying to tell the world to honor sex while we are treating it with disrespect when it comes to our entertainment and our jokes.

In Mere Christianity C. S. Lewis wrote: 

“Chastity is the most unpopular of the Christian virtues. There is no getting away from it: the old Christian rule is, ‘Either marriage, with complete faithfulness to your partner, or else total abstinence.’ Now this is so difficult and so contrary to our instincts, that obviously either Christianity is wrong or our sexual instinct, as it now is, has gone wrong. One or the other. Of course, being a Christian, I think it is the instinct which has gone wrong” (Mere Christianity; p. 90).

One of the reasons the early Church grew the way it did was because of the way Christians lived. They lived differently than everyone else. Chastity was one of those Christian virtues that set the early followers of Jesus apart from the rest of Roman society.

In a world gone wrong when it comes to sex, our way forward as disciples of Jesus is to adopt this same practice. Chastity must once again become a primary virtue for God’s people. The foundation of this crucial virtue is remembering that sex is sacred, but it is not necessary for us to live the abundant life God has for His people.

Sunday Prayer: An Easter Prayer

Gracious God,

On this Easter day, I come before you with a heart full of gratitude and joy, for you have given me new life through the resurrection of your Son, Jesus Christ.

I thank you for your abundant mercy and great love, which have given your people a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus from the dead. I praise you for the imperishable inheritance that you have kept in heaven for all of us, who are protected by your power through faith.

As I celebrate this day, I pray that you would fill me with the joy and peace that come from knowing you and trusting in your promises. I ask that you would help me to live each day in the light of Jesus’ resurrection, empowered by the  Holy Spirit to love and serve others just as Jesus loved us.

May your grace and peace be with me always, and may I live in the hope of your promise of eternal life. I pray this in the mighty name of Jesus Christ, the risen Lord and Savior of the World.

Amen.

Making Impact

Our world has been corrupted by sin and evil. This reality means that poverty, abuse, racism, hunger, and numerous other tragedies are a common part of life.

As individuals, we feel powerless to solve the world's biggest problems like world peace, global hunger, or the crime in our communities. We can wonder if our actions make any real difference in the face of these huge problems.

As followers of Jesus we are called to be lights in the world. In other words, we are to be a positive influence in the world. The Bible teaches us that our choice to love, to forgive, and to serve can have a huge impact on the people around us.

In 1 Corinthians 13, commonly called the "love chapter," the Apostle Paul wrote about the power of love.

If I could speak all the languages of earth and of angels, but didn’t love others, I would only be a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. If I had the gift of prophecy, and if I understood all of God’s secret plans and possessed all knowledge, and if I had such faith that I could move mountains, but didn’t love others, I would be nothing. If I gave everything I have to the poor and even sacrificed my body, I could boast about it; but if I didn’t love others, I would have gained nothing. (1 Corinthians 13:1-3; NLT)

Paul went on to describe love in terms such as patience, kindness, and forgiveness. Love is not only important, but it is essential to our relationships with others.

Love is crucial for influencing the world around us. Forgiveness is another powerful tool in making an impact on our families, churches, and communities. In Matthew 18:21-22, Jesus told Peter that he should forgive his brother seventy times seven times. This is not meant to be taken literally, but rather it emphasizes the importance of forgiving others, even when it's difficult. Forgiveness opens up the way for healing and restoration to occur. This is crucial to break the cycle of exclusion, retaliation, and revenge.

Service is a third way that we can make an impact in our communities. In Matthew 25:35-40, Jesus said that when we serve others, we are serving him. He went on to say that when we feed the hungry, give water to the thirsty, and visit those in prison, we are doing it for him. Service is not only important in helping others, but it also allows us to see the face of Christ in those we serve.

Our actions may not result in world peace or solve global hunger or diminish crime in our communities, but our choice to love, to forgive, and to serve can have a huge impact on those around us.

When we choose to love, we create an environment of kindness and respect. When we choose to forgive, we break the cycle of exclusion, retaliation, and revenge. When we choose to serve, we help meet the needs of those around us and show them the love of Christ.

We need to remember that we can make a difference in our communities by choosing to love, forgive, and serve those around us. Followers of Jesus need to strive to embody the love, to extend forgiveness to those who have wronged us, and to serve those in need. When this becomes our way of life, the church can make a real impact on the people in our communities, and we can bring a little bit of heaven to earth.

The Foolishness of the Cross

 

Good Friday is the day when we remember the crucifixion of Christ Jesus. It is important that we take time to ponder how Jesus, in obedience to the Father, laid down his life to be the sacrifice of sin.

One of my concerns, especially for us who have been around church for most of our lives, is that we lose the foolishness of the cross. The cross, an instrument of execution, as a means to victory makes no sense.

It is foolishness to believe that life can emerge from death, or that winning can come from losing. The apostle Paul's words in 1 Corinthians 1:18-25 highlight this reality:

For the word of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but it is the power of God to us who are being saved. For it is written,

I will destroy the wisdom of the wise,

and I will set aside the intelligence of the intelligent.

Where is the one who is wise? Where is the teacher of the law? Where is the debater of this age? Hasn’t God made the world’s wisdom foolish? For since, in God’s wisdom, the world did not know God through wisdom, God was pleased to save those who believe through the foolishness of what is preached. For the Jews ask for signs and the Greeks seek wisdom, but we preach Christ crucified, a stumbling block to the Jews and foolishness to the Gentiles. Yet to those who are called, both Jews and Greeks, Christ is the power of God and the wisdom of God, 25 because God’s foolishness is wiser than human wisdom, and God’s weakness is stronger than human strength.(CSB)

Notice that Paul never said the cross is anything but folly or foolishness. We find power and transformation through the death and resurrection of Jesus, but we will not fully understand its significance.

The cross is a crucial part of God's plan to rescue creation from sin, decay, and death which means the crucifixion of Jesus is a product of God’s wisdom. Since God’s ways are far above our ways means that we will never be able to fully understand all that happened because of the cross. Systematic theologies have explained the cross in doctrines like justification, atonement, and sanctification, but we miss something vital if we do not find the cross a little bit odd.

While we may never grasp the full wisdom of God displayed in the cross, we can still find healing in its purpose. We may wonder how the death of one man saves all those who believe in him, but we can still put our faith in Jesus.

We do not need to understand the crucifixion in all of its complexities in order to take advantage of the gift of life, forgiveness, and mercy that is found in the death and resurrection of Jesus. Our salvation is not based on our understanding, but on our faith in the Jesus.

The power of the cross does not lie in our understanding but in God's love and grace. We may not understand the purpose of the cross, but we can trust the One who worked through. The point of Good Friday is not that we understand God's ways, but that we trust God's love.