Foundations for Christian Parenting

 

Parents want to do what is best for our children. We want to create an environment where our children can thrive and mature into responsible, compassionate, and faithful people.

The task of raising children to be disciples of Jesus is a difficult one. We often find that the culture that we live in is not supportive in our desire to pass our faith to our children. TV shows, movies, social media influencers, peers, and even family and friends often teach or model values and beliefs to our children that are out of alignment with what we believe.

The Bible provides the wisdom and the guidance we need to faithfully parent our children well as we live in a culture that is opposed to our beliefs and values.

Here are seven biblical principles that will help form the foundations for our parenting:

1. Love

Love is the central command of Christianity. Jesus said, “I give you a new command: Love one another. Just as I have loved you, you are also to love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” (John 13:34-35, CSB)

While we love our children, we don’t always show that love the best. Rather than loving them well we can take out our anger and frustrations on them. It is crucial that we remember that our love for the world starts at home.

It is important to remember that sacrificially loving our children lays teaches them that they are loved. Our children experience God’s love through our love for them. It also teaches them how to love people. Our loving behavior will teach our children how to love more than anything we will say. As parents, we can love our children sacrificially by giving them our time, attention, and money to provide for their needs and create a loving environment that will help them grow.

2. Respect

We often talk about showing respect to people in authority. From a biblical perspective everyone is deserving of respect. James taught this truth in James 2:1-7 when he talked about the evil of showing favoritism for the rich over the poor.

Since everyone is created in God’s image, everyone deserves respect, that includes our children. We are to treat them as fellow image bearers. This means that we consider their feelings, we encourage them in their interests, and we nurture their talents.

Showing respect to our children creates an environment of safety and trust, where everyone feels heard and valued. It is this type of environment provides the space a child needs to discover their unique personality and allows them to be put on the right path to become the people God created them to be.

When we show respect to our children, we teach them to respect us and others. This is an essential skill to have in a world of diversity because it allows them to see the best in others.

3. Intentionality

In a world that is hectic and busy, it is easy to put things on auto pilot. To get a few minutes of rest allowing our children to watch TV or play on their devices is simple. Yet, we are missing valuable time interacting with our children and we are allowing other people or things to influence them.

It is crucial that we are intentional in our parenting. We can’t afford to be passive. In order to be intentional we need to create and environment that promotes good things, that benefits learning and development, and that is founded on faith. The discipleship of our children, just like our personal discipleship, requires intention and effort.

Deuteronomy 6:6-7 (CSB) states, “These words that I am giving you today are to be in your heart. Repeat them to your children. Talk about them when you sit in your house and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.” As parents, we need to make the commitment to intentionally teach and model our faith and values in our daily activities.

4. Boundaries

All of us need boundaries. We need deadlines to know when our work needs to be finished, we need budgets to know how much money we can spend, and need schedules to know where we need to be and what we need to do.

Setting godly boundaries creates a loving and safe environment where children can succeed as they grow in wisdom and faith. The right environment is crucial. This is why the Apostle Paul wrote, “Fathers, don’t stir up anger in your children, but bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.” (Ephesians 6:4; CSB) Any Family where one or both parents are angry, worried, or fearful is an environment that discourages children. Instead, Paul wrote, parents are to create proper boundaries for their children so they can become the people God created them to be.

Boundaries are necessary in every family to create a secure and nurturing environment. By setting godly boundaries, we teach our children self-control and discipline. Proverbs 22:6 teaches, "Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old, he will not depart from it." Setting boundaries that align with our Christian values and priorities help our children develop faith and a strong sense of character.

5. Gratitude

Gratitude is a crucial quality for emotionally healthy people. Being grateful helps us to appreciate the blessings of life and to see everything as a gift from God. In a culture that teaches entitlement, gratitude reminds us to be thankful for what we have and to give thanks to God for the blessings He has given.

This means teaching our children to be grateful is one of the most important thing we can do. And like everything else, the best way to teach our children to be grateful, is to model gratitude in our lives. Cultivating an attitude of gratitude requires us to show gratitude first to God and then to each other. This happens as by saying thank you to people who do nice things for us and it happens as we point out the good deeds each other does.

Being grateful helps us see the good in the world, opens our eyes to the good things people do, and reminds us of the graciousness of God. In 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 (CSB) the Apostle Paul wrote, "Rejoice always, pray constantly, give thanks in everything; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus." As parents, we can model gratitude by expressing appreciation for our children, pointing out to them God’s blessing, say thank you to people who bless us, and encouraging them to do the same.

6. Patience and Encouragement

I would bet the one thing every parent would say that would like to improve it would be patience. Because we forget our children are still learning and growing, it is easy to loose patience with them when they don’t listen, when they make a mess, or they do anything that throws a wrench into our plans.

Patience is a choice that we make. It requires us stopping, taking a deep breath, and praying. If we don’t make this choice we will find ourselves getting angry at the littlest things.

Colossians 3:21 (CSB) reads, “Fathers, do not exasperate your children, so that they won’t become discouraged.” When we lose patience with our children we create an environment where it is easy for them become discouraged. Paul’s warning to parents here is that a family environment that lacks patience, love, and understanding will lead to children becoming discouraged. When people, children included, feel discouraged they will stop caring and quiet.

Patience and encouragement are essential components of building a strong and healthy family. As parents, we need to be patient with our children as they learn what it means to follow Jesus and mature in their faith.

In Galatians 6:9, we are reminded, "Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up." When we are patient and encouraging, we help our children develop perseverance rather than discouragement.

7. Forgiveness

Forgiveness is an important part of building healthy relationships and dealing with hurt and pain in our families. As imperfect people, we all make mistakes, and forgiveness allows us to move forward and restore relationships.

Colossians 3:12-13 (CSB) says “Therefore, as God’s chosen ones, holy and dearly loved, put on compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience, bearing with one another and forgiving one another if anyone has a grievance against another. Just as the Lord has forgiven you, so you are also to forgive.”

As parents, we need to model forgiveness and teach our children how to forgive others. This happens in two ways. First, it happens when our children do something wrong and we tell them that we forgive them. This helps them to know that while we may be upset, that we still love them. Second, it happens when we do something wrong, and we treat our children unfairly, and we ask them for forgiveness. This helps teach them that it is important to own up to your mistakes and take the first step in making things right.

Forgiveness is necessary for a loving family and it an essential skill to teach our children.

Christian Parents seek to raise their children to have a personal faith in God and to teach them what it means to follow Jesus. To do this in a culture that is not supportive requires faith, sacrifice, and commitment. To help us in this process it is crucial that we follow the biblical principles of love, respect, intentionality, boundaries, gratitude, patience and encouragement, and forgiveness. This is how we create an environment where our children can flourish and develop into the people God created them to be. As parents, we help build for God’s kingdom by discipling our children well, and that requires that we turn to God for help and guidance.

EDC Wednesday: The Perfect EDC Knife?

I have been asked several times the question, “If you can only carry one knife, what knife would it be?” 

My answer ia: “It would be a stockman pocket knife.”

I think a stockman pocket knife is a great choice for an everyday carry knife, especially if a person has never carried a knife before. The stockman knife is a classic design that has been around for over a century and has stood the test of time. It was a knife that was carried by working men, ranchers and farmers, to help them in their daily tasks.

Let me explain the reasons why I think a stockman pocket knife is a great choice for an everyday carry knife.

First and foremost, a stockman knife is incredibly versatile. The stockman has three blades: a clip point blade, a spey blade, and a sheepfoot blade. The clip point blade is great for general cutting tasks, the spey blade (which was originally used for castrating livestock and skinning small game) is good for precise cutting tasks, and the sheepfoot blade is excellent for carving and slicing. With these three blades, a stockman pocket knife is well-suited to handle a wide range of cutting tasks, from opening packages and cutting rope to preparing food and even carving wood.

Another advantage of a stockman pocket knife is its compact size. It is designed to fit comfortably in your pocket, making it easy to carry with you wherever you go. Unlike larger knives, a stockman pocket knife won't weigh you down or get in the way. Because of the small size and traditional look the stockman it is not an intimidating looking knife when used around other people. Since it carries nicely in a pocket, it's always within reach, you'll be ready to tackle any cutting task that comes your way.

In addition, a stockman pocket knife is built to last. It is typically made from high-quality materials like stainless steel and durable handle materials such as bone, wood, or synthetic materials like G-10 or micarta. With proper care and maintenance, a stockman pocket knife can last for years, even decades, making it a great value for the money.

My small collection of stockman knives. The Boy Scout knife is the first knife I bought with my own money.

One of the best things about a stockman pocket knife is that it is a traditional and timeless design. It has been around for over a century and is still popular today. This means that it is a knife that you can pass down to future generations as a family heirloom. And because it is a classic design, there will always be people who want one, simple out of nostalgia.

Finally, a stockman pocket knife is a great choice for those who appreciate the art of knife-making. Many manufacturers offer a range of options for customizing your knife, including different handle materials, blade steels, and blade finishes. You can also choose from a range of sizes and colors to make your knife uniquely yours.

A stockman pocket knife is a versatile, compact, and durable knife that is a great choice for an everyday carry knife. With its classic design and timeless appeal, it is a knife that you can be proud to carry and pass down to your son or grandson. So if you're looking for a reliable and versatile knife for everyday use, a stockman pocket knife is definitely worth considering.

Living a Quiet Life

1 Thessalonians 4:11-12 (NLT)

Make it your goal to live a quiet life, minding your own business and working with your hands, just as we instructed you before. Then people who are not believers will respect the way you live, and you will not need to depend on others.

Sometimes, even as Christians, we wonder what practical wisdom the Bible has for our daily lives. Too often we don’t value the Bible enough because it seems outdated in our technologically driven world.

I believe the Bible has much wisdom to offer us in our hectic and busy lives. One example of this is found in an often neglected book, 1 Thessalonians.  The teaching the Apostle Paul wrote 1 Thessalonians 4:11-12, encouraged believers to live a quiet life, mind their own business, and work with their hands. This type of life, according to Paul,  will earn the respect of those who do not share their faith, and they will not have to depend on others.

How does this teaching apply to our lives?

Living a quiet life is not about being silent or isolated from other people. Rather, it is about living in a way that is not characterized by loud and boisterous, drama-causing, or attention-seeking behavior. A quiet life is about being content with what you have rather than constantly scheming to get more. This doesn’t mean that you should not have goals or aspirations, but it does mean that you should pursue them in a way that honors Jesus.

Minding your own business means you don’t stick your nose in other people’s affairs unnecessarily. This doesn’t mean that you should not care about others or help them when they need it. Rather, it means we are not going out of our way to tell people what to do or to judge them harshly for not living up to our standard. Remember, Jesus taught that you need to deal with the log in your eye before helping your neighbor with the speak in their eye. Instead, you should concentrate on becoming the person God created you to be.

Working with your hands is about being productive and contributing to society. It is about using your skills and talents to create something of value, whether it is a product, a service, or a piece of art. By working with your hands, you can take pride in what you do and provide for yourself and your family. The other benefit of being productive is that it allows you to be generous. The number one way you can join in the God is doing is through your giving.

1 Thessalonians 4:11-12 also emphasizes the importance of earning the respect of those who are not believers. As Christians, we are called to be ambassadors for Christ, and our actions and attitudes should demonstrate his character of love, grace, and truth. By living a quiet life, minding our own business, and working with our hands, we are able to demonstrate the qualities of diligence, honesty, and integrity that are valued by people of all faiths and backgrounds. We can also show them, that in spite of our differences, God still loves them.

When we earn the respect of non-believers, we are able to create opportunities to share the gospel with them. When people see that our faith is not just a set of beliefs, but a way of life that makes life better, they may be more open to hearing about our relationship with Jesus. As the Apostle Peter wrote in 1 Peter 3:15, "Instead, you must worship Christ as Lord of your life. And if someone asks about your hope as a believer, always be ready to explain it." (NLT)

Finally, 1 Thessalonians 4:11-12 emphasizes the importance of self-sufficiency. By living a quiet life, minding our own business, and working with our hands, we can avoid becoming dependent on others for our basic needs. This does not mean that we should never ask for help or accept assistance when it is offered. What it does mean is that we want to be generous and compassionate to others rathe than being a burden others unnecessarily.

1 Thessalonians 4:11-12 offers valuable wisdom for life in an hectic and busy world. This wisdom will help us live a life that is pleasing to God and beneficial to others. By living a quiet life, minding our own business, and working with our hands, we can live a life that is respected by all people, regardless of their faith background. We can also earn the respect of those who do not share our faith, and create opportunities to share the gospel with them. Finally, we can avoid becoming dependent on others for our basic needs, and strive to be people are generous and compassionate with the blessings God has given to us.

Facing Our Fears

“When we lack the courage to live the lives we have, when we are overwhelmed by the challenges we face, when we have no strength to make it through the day, we turn to outside sources just to help us survive. We try to sedate, medicate, and intoxicate our fears — anything for a little relief.” 

Erwin McManus, Uprising, p. 90

In a world full of challenges and uncertainties, it's easy to feel overwhelmed and discouraged. According to Erwin McManus in his book Uprising, we often turn to external sources for relief when we lack the courage to face our challenges head-on. However, the problem with trying to self-medicate in order to cope with our fears is that it only masks the issue. This prevents us from discovering real helps in facing our facing and it becomes an obstacle to taking any action that can create lasting change.

As Christians, we are called to face our fears with courage and perseverance. In Psalm 27:1, David wrote, “The LORD is my light and my salvation — whom should I fear? The LORD is the stronghold of my life— whom should I dread?” (CSB) 

With God on our side, we have the strength and courage to face any challenge that comes our way.

Recognizing that we have fears and not trying to suppress them is the first step towards in developing perseverance. It takes real courage and strength to face our fears and overcome them, and that is an essential part of the growth process. As we learn to live uncomfortable feelings without allowing them to control us, we become stronger and more resilient.

The Apostle Paul encouraged disciples of Jesus to develop perseverance in Romans 5:3-5 when he wrote:

And not only that, but we also boast in our afflictions, because we know that affliction produces endurance, endurance produces proven character, and proven character produces hope. This hope will not disappoint us, because God’s love has been poured out in our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us. (CSB)

It is important that we learn to confront our fears head-on. This is one of. the best way to build the courage, strength, and perseverance needed to overcome our fears. In order to do this well requires using other skills such as visualization (imagining ourselves successfully facing our fears), self-compassion (not being hard on ourselves), and assertiveness (being intentional in facing our face). By building these skills, we can create a better way of coping with the problems and fears we face and we can get out of the rut of the ineffective patterns of avoidance or paralysis that we have been in.

By building perseverance, we develop a deeper understanding of our personal strengths, which also helps us tackle other obstacles with renewed strength and courage. We also become better equipped to handle the challenges of life and we are able to approach them with a sense of purpose and determination.

Ultimately, the problems we encounter in our lives provide us with an opportunity to learn, grow, and develop our character and discover new strengths. When we turn to God and rely on His strength through prayer and fellowship with other Christians, we can face our challenges with courage and perseverance. As we learn to overcome our fears and we are empowered to rise to challenges, we are able to strengthen our character by faith in God’s transforming work and hope in His promises. 

We must learn to face our fears with courage and perseverance, relying on God's strength to overcome the challenges we encounter. By adding perseverance to our character, we can approach the problems of life with purpose and determination, which empowers us to grow into the people that God has created us to be. As we face life’s challenges with faith, courage, and perseverance, we discover that our character is strengthened by purpose and hope.